⁣As Abraham Maslow's research on motivation and desire has stated, we all want love and belonging. ⁣
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What keeps us from embracing that is catabolic self-talk. Thoughts of, "I'm not good enough.", "This is the way it's always been.", "I don't know how to change."⁣
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We keep ourselves in a comfort zone, which we all know doesn't benefit our desire for community and relationship building.⁣
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Then we start to experience depression and anxiety.⁣
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According to verywellmind.com...⁣
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"Because humans have an inherent need to be loved and accepted, someone who feels unlovable might feel incapable of setting boundaries because they will sacrifice their other needs in order to make these connections. They might not realize that they deserve to be treated well by the people they care about."⁣
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Feeling lonely and disconnected is not in our nature. It is a human instinct to want to be a part of a tribe/community, working towards a common goal. When we lack that sense of belongingness, we express a lack of desire and willingness to evolve, stuckness.⁣
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This is another arena in my life that I am proactively working to improve. Since I was lonely, scared and shy in 4th grade in my new school, the thoughts of "I'm not good enough.", "This is the way it's always going to be.", "I don't know how to change." ran rampant through my mind. Not understanding how the mind works, I created my reality with thoughts that broke me down. Having very few friends and not understanding the meaning of real connection and belonging. Home life wasn't much different as there were many challenges at home that left me feeling alone and lost.⁣
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"Find your bliss", as Joseph Campbell stated. That doesn't mean finding something that just brings you joy, but finding a higher purpose that you feel like you want to put all of your heart into it. Knowing that there will be plenty of challenges and triumphs to experience. Finding your bliss will open up doors to connection and community that you never knew existed.⁣
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Embrace who you really are. We have a tendency to put on a persona and do or say things we don’t really identify with in order to please others and create connection. This habit creates a discord between how people perceive us and who we really are. This leads to "people pleasing", when our only responsibility is to please ourselves. Don’t be reluctant to show the world your true colors. If your so-called “friends” leave you alone, you’ll always have people who stay — then you’ll know where you truly belong.⁣
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Maybe all you need is time. In reality, there is no ultimate destination when it comes to developing your social arena. It's a daily process of re-evaluating what is working and what is not. A journey, a process. When you are aware that there is a target that is always moving, then you will be better aware to consistently re-focus and reroute a more aligned vision of what you want for feelings of love and belongingness.⁣
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It will feel uncomfortable but you will feel confident that you are in full grasp of guiding yourself in a direction that leads you on a journey of growth and acceptance.⁣
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You will find your bliss through trial and tribulations. You will be aware to course-correct when you feel like you are straying off the path. You will strengthen your champion spirit to keep fighting for what matters to YOU...love and connection.⁣
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If you don't take heed, loneliness, depression and disconnection will spin you in circles, leading you to look for ways to suppress and push down your pain, which ultimately leads to suffering.⁣
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Ask yourself today, "How are my relationships, or lack of, affecting my life?"⁣
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Champ Up Chat is on Spotify and iTunes or wherever you listen to podcasts. 

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